Below you’ll see things I have established in my life that have truly helped me stay sane. Let’s face it being a mom and wife is a HARD job sometimes, but with these strategies it has helped me and my family stay calm and relaxed. It’s not perfect at my house, we still have CRAZY, headache moments, but with these strategies, life has become more manageable.
Establish boundaries
This is the first thing I talk about because once you establish boundaries, you’ll be set for the other items listed. Establishing boundaries is hard because it requires the heavy word “NO”. During my early years of marriage and motherhood I tried to do all the things to make everyone happy. Then I quickly realized my husband and I were rushing around pleasing everyone else and ending up not enjoying the time when we were with family and friends because we were stretched too thin. This past year I made a promise to myself to really evaluate a situation before we commit to it. It has made such a difference in our lives and I can’t believe I waited this long to do it. People will understand if you say no sometimes, and if they don’t that’s okay! What matters is your well being, and your family balance. At the end of the day you’re going home with your husband and kids. Remember that! I would rather have a GOOD quality, positive experience, than a rushed, anxiety filled one.
20 Minute Rule
Now, you’re probably going to laugh at me when I explain what this means, but y’all I promise it made a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE. The 20 minute rule means to have your essential items no more than 20 minutes away from your home. Now, some people cannot help where they live, or love living in the country! Your girl loves living close to everything. My gym, all doctors offices, grocery stores, Target (jk, BUT FOR REAL), church, my job (shoot that’s like a second from my bed to office LOL), etc. are all no more than 20 minutes from my house. The biggest one for me was my job, prior to me leaving teaching I was 13 minutes away from my work. Being close to your house for all the things just changes your dynamic in your life. Its just easier! If you can afford to do this DO IT! You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes.
Girl Time
Ya’ll I think this might be just as important as the boundaries one! Having girl time is SOOO IMPORTANT. A time where you can vent, belly laugh, talk about things without being judged, eat all the good food, etc. Don’t you sit there and tell yourself “Oh there’s no time for that”. No there is, and this is what you tell yourself when you’re trying to get out of girl time, “I cannot pour from an empty cup.” Because it’s true, for you to be a good momma, and good wife, you need to refill your bucket! So if you have not had a good girls night, schedule one soon!
Pamper Yourself
This may look different for everyone. This also does not have to a fancy spa day. Just make sure you do something that makes you happy. For me I love to workout, so I make sure to try and carve out time to go to the gym, or take a walk (when it not a gazillion degrees outside). Paint your nails, get a facial, lashes, etc. Just do something by yourself that makes you happy; where it’s your ME time. Remember you cannot pour from an empty cup. It’s okay to take time recharge.
Organized
Now, this is something that I feel like I literally get better at each year. If you would’ve seen me at the beginning of our marriage, you’d be like UHHHHH. Being organized has saved my marriage and makes the mornings go a lot smoother! When NG started school, Steven would get her ready in the morning. I would expect him to get her ready, choose her outfit, pack her lunch, and all the things. Y’all we would get into it every morning because he didn’t know what to put her in, I would get upset because he wasn’t able to find clothes for her (even though they were right in her closet LOL). He just couldn’t do that, so when Graham was born we had to get our crap together! Each night I pull out the kiddos clothes and get everything they will need for the following day ready. GAME CHANGER!!
A couple other things I do are create a dinner list with 3 meals each week. Now I know there are 7 days in a week, but 3 meals are more realistic for us. We used to eat out ALL THE TIME. Having three meals secured for dinner each week has literally helped us stay home to eat dinner, it’s less stressful because we’re having to drag the kiddos to our dinner, and its CHEAPER!
The last thing I have started to do to keep me organized, is every morning I create a small to do list of realistic goals for the day! I set one up for chores around the house, and a list for my blog! Sometimes I forget to write a list and BOY do I feel lazy and lost. Having a visual always makes things easier. It’s also nice to see at the end of the day to see everything you’ve accomplished!
Grace
I know we’ve heard this word a lot this year. The year of 2020 should be titled “The Year of Figuring Out How to do All the Things”. It’s okay if you don’t do any of the things I have listed! It’s okay if you’re not the most organized person. It’s okay if you eat out all the time with your family. Whatever you do, just make sure you do it well! Life is too short sis! Live it well.
Hope these helped you and you had an OH that’s a great idea moment. Below you’ll see some ideas from all of my peeps on Instagram!
Here’s a list of somethings my friends recommend:
- Cut up fruits and veggies when you get home from the grocery store, then they are ready for the week
- Order groceries online and do pick up
- List! Make all the list!
- Do one load of laundry a day so it’s not piled up on the weekend
- Do household chores little by little each day, to be able to rest on the weekend
- Google calendar to share between spouses
